Celebrate the Journey

This is the fourth, and final, part of my story on how I got to Concordia Seminary. If you haven't read the other parts, you'll want to start here.

It was 2006 and I was now seeking God's Will. Please understand a very important distinction: I was not seeking God's Will for me...no that is what I had been doing all of my adult life. Now, through the tender work of the Holy Spirit, I was now finally seeking to conform my will to His. And, this was the beginning of Him opening the door for me vocationally.

I think, maybe, that some people learn to do this early in life. I didn't.

The first challenge that stood in my way was my undergraduate degree. The fact remained that I was a college drop-out. I didn’t know what to do and didn’t know how to accomplish this. I prayed for God to guide me to His way of dealing with this obstacle. A family friend contacted me to tell me of a new program starting a local university. In 2007, I applied to Evangel University and was accepted.

The folks at Evangel University love Jesus and they loved me. By the Lord's grace the two years to finish my undergrad flew by swiftly and successfully. It was a special time working in a cohort of friends I'll never forget, but we all got through and graduated. I moved to the next step: applying to Concordia Seminary.

However, a special thing happened. During the final week of July 2009, I was contacted by one of the pastors at our congregation about the possibility of leading worship and being a lay preacher for the following Sunday. A variety of circumstances caught the congregation without a pastor for that particular Sunday and none of the retired pastors in the area were available. I humbly accepted the opportunity and proceeded with the necessary preparation for both early and late services. That Sunday was August 2, 2009. As I was praying prior to Worship that morning, it dawned upon me that this was the 10 year anniversary (to the very day) of our departure for Concordia Seward in 1999. I was being asked to preach from the very pulpit that my old family pastor had blessed me from exactly 10 years earlier. This was a very personal and powerful affirmation from the Lord for my current path!

The affirmations continued and there still to this day. One of the most encouraging things I've experienced being at Concordia Seminary is hearing the stories of my classmates. God has worked to affirm each of their paths as well.

The first quarter is complete. Greek is completed. (That fountain jump was cold!!) The next step is Hebrew. And after that will be another milestone, and then another after that (as many of my second and fourth-year brothers have shared with me). Each of these milestones are a step upon this path and each of our journeys have these. I have shared my story to encourage all of us to not focus on the obstacles, to not focus on the difficulties, but to fix our eyes upon Jesus. Desire to want to want what He wants.

Did you catch the construction of that sentence? Want to want what He wants. "If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” —Matthew 6:13.

And, celebrate the journey, from the foot of the Cross.

Seeking the Will of God

This is part 3 of a series of posts telling my story on how I got to Concordia Seminary. Begin here if you are just joining us.

In my previous post, I shared how I had made an incredibly huge mistake in trying to go against God's Will. As the calendar approached 2000, Debbie and I had to make a difficult and painful decision. We could no longer avoid the conclusion that God had closed this door. We had run into a brick wall of epic proportions.

I called my old employer in Springfield, Missouri, and asked him if he had an opening. Not only did he have an opening but he was looking for someone to help him run his new computer training center and could put me to work right away at a salary that could help us save our house in Nixa from foreclosure.

So, I informed Concordia Seward that I would not be returning for the Spring 2000 semester and instead moved back to Missouri. And, by January of 2000, went to work at New Horizons Computer Learning Centers in Springfield, Missouri, as an instructor and shortly thereafter as the Director of Operations.

The years that followed were among the most confusing of my life. I achieved immediate and sustained vocational success. God poured out his blessings on my new position at New Horizons and delivered my family literally out of the jaws of complete financial destruction. Instead, we began paying off all of our debts and were blessed with two more beautiful children (Aaron, born in 2001, and Ally, born in 2004).

The difficulty for me amidst all of this blessing was simple: Why did God halt my attempt at serving Him in full-time ministry and then subsequently bless my attempt at another vocation? I began operating under a very simple conclusion: God did not want me to be a pastor.

However, at the same time, Debbie and I joined a church plant near our home that would eventually have a very important impact upon our understanding of ministry. From 2001 to 2005 our lives gradually, but dramatically, changed. Our view of church life changed and became a faith-integrated approach to daily life. We began to interact with the reality of the Gospel in our daily life instead of being a people centered on our lives throughout the week and spending an hour or two “in church” on Sunday morning.

Instead of our Sunday-focused week, somewhere along the way we began living with a Christ-focused week. Our interaction with faith changed from a mostly compartmentalized approach to a more integrated approach. And, it would be in this fertile soil of a renewed and deepened trust in which the Holy Spirit had been working with His gracious hands that He would bring me back to face an important reality: I still had not sought to do things His way. I was still seeking His will for me rather than seeking to conform my will to His.

In 2005, I led a Bible study at our church on the Book of Romans. During the course of that class, one of the participants came up to me and asked me if I had ever considered being a pastor. This question arrived at my heart like an exploding bomb.

I politely responded that I had once considered it, but that it didn’t work out. I then briefly explained how God had subsequently provided another plan for my life. The elderly woman smiled warmly and with equal politeness suggested that maybe it was time to try it God’s way. She smiled, patted me on the cheek and walked away. From that moment forward, the stone in my shoe was back. In fact, I began to realize it had never truly left, and that I had simply developed calloused feet.

This realization broke me into pieces. The only description I have for this was despair. So, in the midst of my confusion, frustration, sadness and despair, I started praying.

I literally spent a year praying almost exclusively about this issue. For at least a month or two my prayer was for God to remove this from me. Take the stone away, I would pray. And then, as more time passed, and I spent more and more time in His Word, by the power of His Spirit, I eventually began to do something, which for me was completely amazing: I began to seek the Will of God.

I started praying everyday for His will to be done His way and in His time according to His plan.

In late-2006, my old friend Dana Hobelman called me up again (Dana, what is it with you and all of these huge life changing events?!?). He invited my dad and I to meet up with him and his dad in Kansas City for a conference. Again, it was great fun to reunite and enjoy tremendous fellowship.

While there, one of the guest preachers gave a message in which he asked a simple question: “What would you do with your life if there were no obstacles of time or money? Write it down.” As tears filled my eyes, I wrote down that I would preach and teach the Gospel of Jesus Christ to a broken world. I would fill my days being with people who need Jesus and point them in His direction. I would be a pastor.

The preacher then asked us to consider if there were any obstacles that the Living God could not remove. “Don’t you think the One who spoke and the universe leapt into existence could remove the obstacles that are preventing you from doing what you are supposed to be doing?”

His message cut to my heart in ways that my words cannot express. He was even using the very words that I had prayed about in terms of me seeking God’s will to be done His way and in His time according to His plan. I had been praying not about God’s will for me, but rather for Him to direct my will.

I left that conference and came home, continuously praying about this. I prayed about the obstacles. I prayed about doing it His way. I prayed about being a humble and willing servant. One could say that I finally had joined with Abraham, as Paul records in Romans 4:21, in the sense that I was now fully persuaded that God has the power to do what He has promised, even with my own stubborn heart.

From this day forward, the stone in my shoe was gone. To be continued...

Going against the Will of God

In my previous post I shared how I got started on the path towards Concordia Seminary. While there were many points along that path that God used to guide me, none was more controversial to me than my strange encounter with Pastor Wilson where he had told me that God had spoken to him in a vision that morning and had plainly stated that I should become a pastor.

As time passed, the memory of that day and that strange encounter with Pastor Wilson would not pass. It intensified and became the focus of, as Greg Koukl would describe, a stone in my shoe. After a few months of thinking about this and sharing this with friends and family and even my pastor, they all suggested that I investigate the pastoral ministry again. So, Debbie and I resolved to visit Concordia Seminary in St. Louis at the next scheduled “Institute on the Ministry” event.

While there, I heard a message preached about how pastors get to “make a difference in the things that matter most.” This message resonated with me! After this visit, Debbie and I made the decision to see “what it would take” to come to Seminary. A list of obstacles was created.

The first obstacle was completing my undergraduate degree. So, I promptly re-enrolled in Missouri State University to get back into good academic status (since I had simply walked away one semester and forfeited all credits being earned at the time). That process was successful.

During that year, I also contacted Concordia University in Seward, Nebraska. In what was one of the most monumental mistakes of my life, I essentially concluded that if God wanted me to be a pastor, he would make it all happen in a “storybook” way. As it played out in my mind, we were going to go to my home state and go to the school I always wanted to go to . . . and it was going to all work out great.

Even as I write these words, more than a decade later, I am baffled as to how blind I was. God did indeed need to do a work in me, and it was going to be through my suffering and the suffering of my family that I would begin to learn and understand things in a new light. Even as we were making plans to move to Nebraska, we discovered that Debbie was pregnant. What amazing and joyous news that was! But, inexplicably, it seemed to only further my resolve to move and proceed with my plans.

In 1999, I completed the requirements needed to achieve good academic standing. I applied to Concordia Seward and was accepted. Debbie and I planned to sell our home and move to my home state of Nebraska so I could complete my undergraduate degree there. On May 1, our firstborn, Mariah Leann Hunsaker entered this world to our complete joy. But with a face set like flint, I pressed onward.

All throughout the summer, Debbie and I prepared in every way we could. In my eyes, everything seemed to be perfect. In July, as the deadline for moving fast approached, we still had not sold our house. Our family pastor took me aside and heartily warned me that this did not have the appearance of a good plan. He cited many valid reasons that in retrospect were all rooted in wisdom. However, as I described to him at the time, I resolved to walk by faith.

So, we moved to Seward, Nebraska on “faith.” As I fully understand now, making my own plans and then throwing the responsibility for accomplishing them upon the shoulders of God is not faith! On the contrary, it is utter foolishness! However, just as Christ died for us when we were yet His enemies, so God protected my family during my rebellion and lovingly cared for us during our headlong journey off of a proverbial cliff. And, admittedly, this would later help me grow to understand Him as my Rock and my Redeemer rather than my personal “genie.”

Classes began in Seward and all started well. I attended class full time while working as much as I could to keep our finances up. However, with our house in Nixa, Missouri, sitting vacant and mortgage payments continuing to fall behind, the numbers just never added up. God worked mightily through our extended family and friends and church to provide immense support (spiritual, emotional and financial) in the midst of our failure. The Hobelman family will never know this side of eternity how much they helped us.

But, as I successfully completed my first semester at Seward, it was finally becoming clear to me that this situation was simply not working. Eventually, our mortgage company called to tell us they were going to begin foreclosure proceedings on our home in Nixa. All during this process, I had been calling out to God to help us, to not let us fail. I was confused and blind and could not understand why he would not help us on our “journey of faith.”

Then came October 31, 1999. The worst day of my life. After just having moved my family into the basement of a dear friend’s home in Lincoln (with the hope that this savings on rent would make the difference), I hit rock bottom. I very nearly died that day. Was it all a cruel joke by God to lead us on this fool’s errand? These were the blind and self-centered thoughts and feelings I had as I contemplated our situation. I had grieved before...I had experienced loss before...but in all dark situations before this day, I always had hope alongside any disaster I had encountered. On this day, however, I lost all hope.

Standing in the back of a box truck that night, trying to unload everything by myself, the cold Nebraska wind cut through me. As it did, so did the realities of my mistakes.

My circumstances were a real-life metaphor being played out in front of me.

Struggling alone on that truck in the cold darkness, I was trying to lift things I was not strong enough to carry by myself. I was trying to do things alone that can only be done with help. Like scales falling off of my eyes, I was beginning to now see what I could not, would not, see before.

I was going against the Will of God.

To be continued...

How Much Time Do You Have?

That is the response I give folks when I’m asked: “So, why did you come to Seminary?” I’ve been asked this many times so I’ve come up with the 30 second version, the 5 minute version and the “let’s go out for coffee” version.

So hey, wanna go out for coffee?

As a 38-year-old guy with a blessed career in the IT field, it has been a long journey to get to Concordia Seminary in St. Louis. I spent the last six weeks just trying to absorb the reality that I’m finally here and praying many prayers of thanksgiving for the fact that God’s plan to bring me and my family here has involved so many people helping to make it happen. I’ve sat in Greek class more than once and pinched myself. Of course, the daily quizzes are enough to let me know that this is all very real!

I was seventeen years old when it was first suggested to me that I should become a pastor. For all intents and purposes, I shrugged it off as a really whacky idea from out of left field. And, I proceeded to ignore the idea completely.

A major life event would occur at age 25 (just two years after Debbie and I were married). Out of the blue, my closest friend from childhood, Dana Hobelman (whom I had not talked with in several years at the time) called me. He wanted to know if I would stand with him at his wedding. I was honored, so my wife and I traveled to Lincoln, Nebraska, and joined with friends to celebrate their special day. Ironically, the pastor officiating the wedding was one of my childhood pastors, Pastor “Woody” Wilson. It was all quite nostalgic and very much fun.

During the reception that followed the ceremony, Pastor Wilson walked straight up to me and looked me square in the eye and said: “Mark, God wants you to be a Pastor.”

He was very serious. But, for me it was as if he struck some kind of nerve. Quite arrogantly, I responded, “When?”

Pastor Wilson did not know why I asked that question. I was a 25-year-old college drop out that was planning a career working in computers and was already well underway in my plan. I was thinking along the lines of, “Well, if God wants me to be a pastor then he will have to make a way.”

Pastor Wilson was surprised and clearly confused by my response. He then told me that God had spoken to him in a vision that morning and had plainly stated that I should become a pastor.

Certainly, after hearing something bearing such a supernatural description and dramatic truth claim, I was taken aback. I had no response. I was immediately skeptical.

“So, you should get started as soon as possible!” he quipped after the brief silence. And, after a few more awkward moments of silence, we shared a brief conversation during which I continued to be dubious about his startling claim. He walked away shaking his head. Once again, very blind about what I was doing, I shrugged my shoulders and thought to myself, “If God wants that, he'll make it possible.”

I was focused on the many obstacles which prevented me from going off to Seminary. I was convinced that God had some work to do before anything like ministry could be a part of my life. And, on that last point, it would seem that I was right.

To be continued…

Implication Land

I was blessed this morning to attend the Theological Symposium at Concordia Seminary. While I know some of you may prefer a variety of torture scenarios to attending a theological symposium, I am having fun.

The primary topic of this morning’s presentations was the interpretation of Scripture. This is an interesting challenge that Tim Saleska took on in his essay, and it produced no small amount of debate in our breakout session which followed.

My read of Dr. Saleska’s key point in the first part of his presentation was that, at the end of the day, when we seek to interpret scripture we are trying to understand the author’s intent. As such, a key slide in his presentation read, “INTENTION = MEANING.” I cannot find fault with this assertion because any attempt to falsify it only proves its truth.

So, from this point we understand that when we seek to interpret Scripture we are really wanting to know what the author’s intentions are in a particular passage. As Dr. Saleska was speaking, my mind quickly jumped to John 20:31 where the author of the narrative says, “But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.” John seems to be making his intentions clear.

Saleska, after demonstrating this and other important elements of his assertion, then moved toward the conclusion of his presentation. In doing so, he constructed the case that our families, our worldviews, our experiences and other similar important mitigating factors all have an effect upon the way we go about determining authorial intent. His point seemed to be that we are biased. More importantly, in this fallen world, Saleska asserted it is utterly impossible to truly escape one’s bias.

I may be biased when I say this (ba-dum-pum), but I think Dr. Saleska is correct. How could all of these factors not play a huge role in our view of texts that are so very important? We are certainly biased and that bias will most certainly taint our view of Scripture. There is no escaping this important point.

It is at this stage of the presentation that, through no fault of his own, Saleska lost me. My mind was swimming and like one of those scenes in movie where the director tries to have us see the perspective of someone losing consciousness, where everything goes blurry on the screen and the sound of the speaker’s voice gets lower and lower until...

There I was, sitting in a seat in Werner Auditorium wrestling with the implications of such conclusions. The kind presenter was likely at this point providing a nice and tidy wrap up to what so far had been a brilliant exploration of the topic, but I was off in implication-land. I’m convinced that there are objective answers to the truths of the Scriptures’ most important questions that are not held captive to my own biases. Why am I so convinced? Because there are objective truth claims in the Scriptures.

And, while I know that us Christians may differ on the answers on many doctrinal points, each of which are very important in the overall scheme of things, there must be objective answers even to these! The mere fact that we struggle to agree on those answers does not in itself eliminate the possibility of objectivity. The mere fact that we do have biases and do have different interpretations does not in itself eliminate the possibility of objectivity.

I was in implication-land.

However! The fact remains that we do have biases and we do differ. For example, my Calvinist friend may say that God elects some to salvation and some to damnation and I will declare—in love—my dear Calvinist friend to be wrong. My Arminian friend may say that it is solely Man’s choice unto eternity, and I will declare him (again in love) to be wrong. And they, in turn, will think their crazy Lutheran friend holds to a position that doesn’t make any sense to them. And I would say “Now on that you are right!” Perhaps we could all then go out for a beer and love our Lord together! Oh wait, there’s a good chance the Arminian is not allowed to drink beer. Its okay, beer messes up my stomach and I’m the only one of the three that can take both Romans 9 and 11 at face value with no theological gymnastics. But I digress.

The real question is this: In John 11 Jesus says, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

When I landed in implication-land I could not help but think of Jesus’ question. He is not asking a hypothetical or abstract style of question. Nor is he making a wishy washy truth claim. He is stating an objective truth claim followed by a very real question of Martha (who he was speaking to at the time) and to us: Yay or nay? True or False? The answer to this question is a one or a zero.

Ah, you may say “Bah, Hunsaker, you’ve missed the whole point of the presentation! Saleska was asking us to consider the question of how do we know Jesus wasn’t just talking to Martha?!? Why do you interpret it in such a way to think that Jesus is talking to you?!?”

My response is to lay claim to Saleska’s main point: Intention = Meaning. Exhibit “A” shall be entered into evidence: John 20:31, where John says, “...these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.” John’s intention, or might I say the meaning of the passage, is clear.

Look, I know I’m just a padawan learner here (woe is me, the lowest of lows, a first year seminarian) and there is much yet to learn, but I am old and wise enough to know that “everything is just relative” is not the answer. It is an illogical self-contradicting statement since it itself is an objective truth claim.

And, I certainly don’t think that’s where Saleska was going with his presentation when I went off to deal with the implications. However, in the breakout session that followed, some of my classmates were worried about that being a real possibility. Me, being a first year guy, decided to keep my mouth shut. Or, could it be that I hadn't figured all of this out yet...I don't know.

I think we should take a hard look at our biases. We won’t be able to spot our blind spots or they wouldn’t be blind spots, but when we engage our worldview and think about it and struggle with it we will be able to focus in on where the Lord is molding us and shaping us, teaching us to grow and learn. We know from history that Jesus can indeed break people out of their biases for His purposes (Reformation, anyone?) and we know that much care must be taken when interpreting Scripture. And so, from this we can indeed learn and grow.

I know I sure did today! In the mean time through my faith and my reason, I know this: By the power of the Holy Spirit, I do believe that through Christ, I will never die! If you share with me in this belief, what are the...implications?!?

In Christ,
Mark Hunsaker

The New Milestone

September 2010. The new journey begins! Now that I’m nearly 40 years old, I’m starting classes at Concordia Seminary. This certainly means I’m a slow learner. But, it also means I have much to offer those whom I’m going to meet along the next stretch of this journey!

I once tried to make it here and proceeded to crash before getting off of the runway. And so, I continue to celebrate the journey that God has placed me on, trusting in Him in ways I never would have when I was young.

For example, in 2005, I led a Bible study at my old church on the Book of Romans. During the course of that class, one of the participants came up to me and asked me if I had ever considered being a pastor. This question arrived at my heart like an exploding bomb.

I politely responded that I had once considered it, but that it didn’t work out. I then briefly explained how God had subsequently provided another plan for my life. The elderly woman smiled warmly and with equal politeness suggested that maybe it was time to try it God’s way. From that moment forward, I had a stone in my shoe. Per Greg Koukl, he portrays the image of a “stone in your shoe,” having something follow you, annoy you and become a point of tension in your life. This constant tension disrupts your journey, nagging you to take off your shoe and get that pebble out of there. So here I was, the stone in my show driving me crazy like it had when I was young.

I literally spent a year just praying about this topic. For a while I was simply asking God to remove the stone. And then, through time in His word and by the power of His Sprit, I eventually surrendered my will to him. I prayed everyday for His will to be done His way and in His time according to His plan.

That was four years ago. And now, here I am, ready to pass this new milestone…I’ll share that journey in this space and hopefully encourage you to celebrate your journey on the path God has laid out before you!

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. - Proverbs 3:5-6

Blessings!
Mark

End of a Journey

I started this Blog exactly four years ago when I was a different person with a different purpose. Then I was a guy with an opinion, seeking to celebrate a journey. Now, I'm a guy with an opinion, but no longer convinced this medium is adequate for sharing, interacting and growing.

I'm still celebrating my journey from the foot of the cross, but the process of expressing that and sharing that will be different going forward.

In Christ,
Mark

Somewhere
Beyond these reasons and feelings
Somewhere
Beyond the passion and fatigue
I know You're there
And that Your Spirit is leading me
Somewhere
Beyond all this